

(via elijahbabay)
Me too

“The other day I was trying to get all my friends for dinner and I ended up having to feed them both my blood and my body. One of them betrayed me now I am hung in between two thieves for apparently trying to be King of the Jews. Thanks Dad, FML.”
“Tried to go to the White people highschool today. They were literally all racist and I had to have cops escort me to my classes. FML.”
“Tried to get a job today, was told no Irish need apply and was told to go die from eating nothing but potatoes, if I was lucky. FML”
“Totally won some awesome Nobel prize, can’t really bask in my glory though, remember the pretty blue-green light that those substances gave off in the dark? Turns out they are bad for you. FML”
“Wanted to bomb Japan today, got diarrhea instead, Turns out they planned to bomb us to. FML”
Re-Blog and add your own.
| Him: | hi |
| Me: | (thinking) this will never work |
| Him: | blah blah blah...m'lady...blah blah blah |
| Me: | (thinking) this could work, just not yet |
If i see another Robert pattenson, (however you spell his name), picture i might actually go clinically insane.
| Them: | Ok lets just start over. Hi, my name is ______. |
| Me: | Ok sounds like a plan. Hi, I'm Shelby :) (come here often,lol) |